Compiling a guest list is, for many couples, the most difficult part of their wedding plans. You should first determine the size of your wedding based on budget. Then, generally, that number is divided into thirds between the couple's friends and those of each of the two families. Whenever possible, all guests should be invited to both the wedding and the reception.

Your wedding invitation can help set the mood and style for you wedding. You will find selections from traditional designs with formal wording, to contemporary designs, which may incorporate your own specially created message.

Formal wedding invitations are usually thermographed or engraved, and ordered well ahead to allow time for them to be addressed and mailed six weeks before the wedding. The most popular size is 4 1/2 x 5 1/4, which fits into an envelope without folding. A larger 5 1/2 x 7 1/2 invitation is used for very formal weddings. Your printer will be able to show you various styles and appropriate wording. Remember, invitations are always written in the third person. Spell everything out... the wedding date, time, all numerals and names. Abbreviations, initials and nicknames are never used except for Mr. or Mrs., Jr. or Dr. and Lt. Colonel.

Note: "The honour of your presence" (spelled with the u) on the invitation indicates a religious ceremony, while "the pleasure of your company" indicates  a civil service.

Be sure to order enough invitations... one for every married couple, each single adult guest, each attendant and their parents (if invited), your attendants' dates (if single), everyone in the groom's family and of course, your clergyman and guest.

Order extras for emergencies and keepsakes. Extra envelopes are a must... this will allow for any  mistakes you may make when addressing. For beautiful hand addressing of your invitations, a bride may turn to a calligrapher.

Hand address all envelopes in blue or black ink. Remember, use full names... no initials. Your invitation is inserted into the inner envelope with enclosure cars, and printed side facing the back flap. Insert this inner envelope into your addressed envelope.

Remember to order:

• Response Cards: (R.S.V.P.) if space is limited at the ceremony or if you are planning to serve a meal.
• Ceremony Cards: to invite a limited number of guests to the ceremony.
• Reception Cards: to limit the number of guests invited to the reception. Receptions cards are sometimes used even when everyone is invited to both the ceremony and the reception, or you may on the invitation, "reception to follow at..."
• Pew Cards: special seating for friends and relatives.
• Thank You notes... and most importantly, be sure to send them as soon as possible. Dear Abby is deluged with complaints about tactless rides who never quite get around to sending these most important expressions of gratitude.